One

Life after loss seems all about taking life “one day at a time.” Well, it really translates into one moment at a time, one minute at a time. Because sometimes a day is just too hard to swallow. But then before you know it you have that one moment, that one minute and that one day behind you. And the days roll up into weeks, months and into years.

As Christmas nears, gloom lays heavier and heavier on our hearts. We know that day is coming, the day we wish we could just wipe off the calendar. The few weeks leading up to and immediately after Christmas are a constant movie reel playing those last moments we would have with our baby Phillip. Little did we know those would be the last days. Those days are hard to swallow. They always will be.

But there is also a new little bright spot in our dark winter. We also get to celebrate the new life that was given to us. His name is Asa Luke and he is pure joy. Yes, even at 4am. I can’t help but wonder about God’s sovereignty in placing this little baby in our lives, our laps and our hearts at what is a difficult and dark time of year. I can’t help but think that he was meant to show us His goodness, faithfulness, and loving kindness. We had no idea how we were going to care for a baby having lived through what we experienced. We had no idea what emotions were in store for us, what challenges lay ahead.

We still live moment to moment, minute to minute. But God has not given us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power and love. It is with that spirit that we enter this bittersweet season. A season of joy and sorrow, healing and pain, life and death.

“Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel” 2 Timothy 1:8-10

Happy Birthday sweet Asa Luke. You are life, you are light.

You are loved.